


Of Nightmares and Dreams

by sunshineandblueberries



Category: Free!
Genre: (i mean what did you expect from an au like this), Angst, F/F, M/M, Panic Attacks, Temporary Character Death, i have no idea what i'm doing!!!, owari no seraph au, vampires and all that shit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-11
Updated: 2016-05-28
Packaged: 2018-06-07 20:00:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6821941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunshineandblueberries/pseuds/sunshineandblueberries
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nightmares. Training. Vampires. And a constant ache in his heart. That's what his life has become and there is seemingly no end to it.</p>
<p>~~Or: the Owari no Seraph au no one asked for but I still wrote.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, it is I, the so called author of this angst fest! Nice to meet you!!  
> Just a few things before you start reading:  
> 1\. This will not follow the exact plot of the anime/manga. Just the main idea is the same.  
> 2\. English is not my first language so at places the wording and sentence structure may sound weird.  
> 3.This is my first fic, please be gentle~  
> This is dedicated to my best friend (you know who you are) who introduced me to this idea! ( Blame her)  
> Anyways, enough talking, I hope like it aand...ENJOY!

A white tile floor was stretching everywhere he looked, the clean surface reflecting his confused face. Suddenly, a steam of blood started flowing between the cracks forming an ever growing puddle around his feet. The eerie quiet was broken by a bloodcurdling scream. He whipped his head up just to be met with a most horrible sight. The once sparkling floor was now covered by blood and the bodies of children. An unimaginably deep sorrow filled him. His stomach and head were hurting and he felt bile trying to come out. 

“Go!” a weak voice called to him. He turned his head slowly in the direction of the voice only to be met with another terrible sight. The white uniform of the boy was covered in blood streaming from the wound in his chest. His crimson hair mattered by blood.  
“Haru, please, go,” there was desperation in the voice and something in him broke at the sound. 

“I can’t, I can’t leave you…” he muttered somehow having appeared at the boy’s side. Kneeling next to him, he could see the pain and sadness in the boy’s expression. Yet there was a small spark in those beautiful eyes, a spark of determination and stubbornness. 

“Leave, Haru, we will be fine,” a small encouraging smile passed his lips. Then his body slowly went limp. His eyes closing, the smile disappearing.

“Rin! Hey, Rin…wake up! Rin!” 

Haru abruptly sat up in his bed, the last of the scream dying on his lips. Ah, another nightmare, he thought with a detached sort of sadness. The fact that he had one every other night had taught him to quickly wipe the tears and try to brush it off. Some days that philosophy didn’t work. The nightmares were too much, Haru would wake up screaming, shaking and crying and would know that it was not going to be a good day, even swimming wouldn’t help. 

Not that he had many good days nowadays. 

The nightmare hadn’t been so bad that night so he thought that a good swim might do some good. He quickly got dressed and left for the pool. The corridor was cold and empty, Haru shivered, flashes of the nightmare and the feeling of cold tiles and warm blood still lingering on his skin, even after all these years. Swimming had always helped Haru. Before the Virus when he had led a fairly happy life with Rin and the rest of his small family, which he now realised he had taken for granted, his favourite pass time had been swimming. Even now, when happy and peaceful moments were so little and short-lived, he still enjoyed it. 

As he reached the pool he could feel himself slowly calming down at the familiar sight of the water casting blue shadows on the walls. He quickly got rid of his clothes and dived in, the quiet of the water enveloping him. This quiet was different, it didn’t leave him cold and sometimes gasping for air, on the contrary, it filled him with peace and he felt accepted, the water making way for him to smoothly glide through. 

It had been beside a pool that he had met Rin for the first time. He had just finished his lap when he broke the water’s surface only to by met with the sight of a boy with wine red hair and sparkling red eyes, a giant grin nearly splitting his face in half. Haru had had no idea how someone could be so happy when coming to an orphanage but, as Haru had later found out, Rin had the weird talent of finding something positive in any situation. Even in the worst, like those four years in the vampire city. Rin would later on tell him the main reason he was so happy at that moment was because he had seen him swim and instantly known that he had found someone that he would get along with, knowing that Haru would share his enthusiasm for the activity. Even if it had taken a couple of months for Haru to warm up to him, Rin had been right and they forged an unlikely yet ridiculously strong friendship.

Their personalities clashed, where Haru was reserved and calm, Rin was boisterous and loud, they always had something to fight about and their swimming races had quickly become entertainment for the younger kids in the orphanage. However, after every fight they would go back to doing everything together, nothing was said, there was no need since they both understood. They completed each other in a weird way, Rin would force Haru to try new things and Haru was there when Rin’s energy got a little too out of hand. Haru quickly found himself thinking that a world without Rin would be sad, empty, colourless. He was right.  
***  
After doing a couple of laps Haru noticed that the sun was coming out and he should probably go back to get changed and head to school. He had always found school to be really bothersome but he had to go if he wanted to be considered for the Moon Demon Company. After all they were linked; some of your future squad members or fellow soldiers may be in your class. 

When Haru had escaped from Sanguinem and met Natsuya at the other side of the tunnel all he could do was hug him and cry. Natsuya had murmured quiet words of encouragement and brought Haruka to the room that he now called home. Ever since that day Natsuya had kept a close watch over him and helped him settle in. Haru respected him immensely, so when he had said that he had to attend school Haruka could only nod quietly and comply. 

So that was how Haru found himself surrounded by excited and annoying people asking from where he was, what he liked to do, for how long he has been here and so on. He had just stared at them with an annoyed frown and quietly walked away and sat at his seat. After that little act nobody really dared speak to him, except Makoto of course.

Once classes for the day had finished Haru was ready to leave and just go home and soak in his bath but a boy with bright green eyes had insisted that he walk him home, his quiet chatter about the teachers and their classmates didn’t bother Haru so much so he decided not to completely ignore him. The next day Makoto did the same and the next too, and the one after that and before Haruka realised it Mako had wormed his way into his life. He would go as far as calling him his best friend and that was a lot coming from Haru, who even before the incident in Sanguinem had been hard to approach and closed off, but even more so after the disaster that was him losing his family. 

With Makoto came the energetic Nagisa and rather awkward Rei, who had been old friends of Makoto’s and had somehow become his friends too. It took time for Haru to adjust but the years passed and he felt himself feeling calm and accepted around his small group of friends. Of course, he still had nightmares and missed Rin and the rest of his family, the dull pain in his heart of not having them here with him never really going away, but now he could find comfort in Makoto’s soothing voice, Nagisa’s smiles and Rei’s rambling. He really appreciated his friends even if he didn’t show it that much.

 

With those and other thoughts Haru reached the school gate where he was met with Mako’s sweet smile that dropped slowly once he saw the state Haruka was in. 

“Nightmare?” he asked quietly. Haru only nodded. Makoto didn’t push it anymore and they both headed to their classroom, Mako chattering about what he had eaten last night and complaining about their homework assignments, Haru only nodding and making understanding noises when necessary. 

The day passed slowly, with teachers droning on and on about something or other, with teenagers gossiping and muttering between each other- nothing out of the ordinary. Yet Haru found himself more distracted than usual, his thoughts always going back to the blood on his hands and Rin’s sad little smile, leaving him cold and irritated, so it was no wonder that by the end of the day Haru was sporting a giant frown and generally an aura that screamed ‘don’t come closer’.  
***  
When Rei and Nagisa saw Makoto and Haru at the end of the school day they instantly knew that something was wrong. Haru had such a big frown that it was worrying, especially when he rarely showed his emotions, and Makoto, well, he just looked extremely troubled. 

“Hey, guys!” Nagisa shouted cheerfully, opting to try and cheer the two up, knowing that interrogating won’t do much good. He would ask Mako later, it always worked. “Ready for practice?”

“Yep,” Mako answered quickly with one of his charming smiles. Ready to take charge of the situation in case someone asked about Haru’s condition, always the protective one, “let’s get going or we will be late.” Nagisa cheered and Rei chastised him for being too loud, almost on reflex. Makoto just smiled at the two and they all started walking towards the training centre.

Training was the same as always- a couple of practices against some ‘vampires’ and more fight strategy. The repetitiveness of it all helped calm Haru’s nerves a little, plus he actually liked training. Just the thoughts of being able to do something and not just standing helpless while a vampire kills his family also really fuelled his enthusiasm. He rarely really found anything worth his attention, but sometimes he would latch onto something and pretty much obsess over it. Mackerel, swimming, drawing, his fascination with creepy mascots, training and, well, he has come to recently realise…Rin, too bad he’s dead, Haru thought bitterly. 

“Haru! Hey, Haru!” Nagisa was lightly shaking his arm and calling for him. Must have drifted off again, Haru mentally sighed and turned to see what the blond wanted from him. He had a giant grin on his face that Haruka knew meant trouble. “Do you want to sneak into the official practice of the army after we finish?”

“I’m not really feeling up to it, Nagisa. Maybe next time,” Haru mumbled, he knew that the boy only wanted to cheer him up. Nagisa didn’t show it often but he was very perceptive of other people’s emotions and that’s why he probably knew that something was wrong. Unlike Rei who was the complete opposite. The smaller boy pouted and started rubbing his face into Haru’s arm.

“Haru-chaaaan, come ooon, just for a little bit. Then you can go sulk in your room all you want. It will be fun!” he was really pleading now, practically whining, just like a baby, Haru thought, already crumbling, but then Nagisa had to go and turn his sad puppy eyes on him and Haruka was thoughtfully fucked. It’s hard to not give into those pink eyes. Nagisa became a little demon once he wanted something. 

“Fine,” he said so quietly you could have missed it if you weren’t waiting for it. Of course, Nagisa heard and let out a small whoop of victory and bound up to Rei, probably to tell him the good news. I have no idea how Rei puts up with him so much, Haru thought, but I suppose it isn’t much of a bother for him, since he likes him so much…

“Hey, Haru-chan,” Makoto spoke from behind him, making Haruka jump a little, “are you sure you are up to going. You don’t have to if you don’t want to. I’ll just tell Nagisa, he will understand.” He had most likely overheard their conversation and was trying to determine Haru’s real feelings about the situation. 

“No it’s ok, I need the distraction,” Haru turned around to face his friend, “and drop the –chan” he said with a frown. Mako only laughed.  
***  
After practice they all headed to the secret passage they had found to the roof overlooking the training centre of the Japanese Imperial Demon Army. Only Nagisa’s quiet chatter and Rei’s occasional input could be heard as they walked. Watching the army train was another thing that Haru quiet enjoyed and so did his friends and that’s why they visited the roof quite often. 

He was going to be part of that army no matter what, I want to join. After all, it was Rin’s biggest goal in life- to fight the vampires. I have to make that dream come true, for him; somehow Haru’s thoughts always strayed to Rin. His determination to join the army had not changed from the day he found out there is such a thing and most of his time nowadays was filled with training or sometimes when he felt like it, studying strategies. It was the main thing he lived for now (that and his friends).

Haru wasn’t one to really follow the rules; he liked doing whatever felt natural and easy. He had come to understand that there was no right way to fight; it depended on the person and situation. So for that he found battle strategy meaningless. He would leave the strategizing to Makoto and Rei- they understood that stuff. He and Nagisa were more untamed, well Nagisa was, Haru just did what he wanted. 

“Is it about Rin again,” Makoto asked him quietly, having sensed that Nagisa and Rei were in their own little world and the coast was clear to talk.

“When is it not nowadays,” Haru answered after a couple of minutes silence, “I don’t know why I’m so distracted today...it’s just…I can’t stop thinking about it,” he mumbled quietly. 

He had found that it was rather easy to talk to Mako, maybe it was because Makoto understood him so well. After having learned that his friend could be quiet persistent when he wanted to be, Haru had slowly started to open up and now it almost came like second nature for him to answer Makoto’s questions, although the other boy probably already knew what the answer would be. The boy next to him just smiled sadly and leaned his head on Haru’s shoulder in quiet support, knowing that there wasn’t much he could say in this situation. Haruka couldn’t help but think back to his nightmare and Rin’s smile, which was so different from Makoto’s. He was absolutely sure that Rin’s last smile would haunt him forever.

They stayed on the roof for about half an hour watching the people below and anticipating the moment they would join them. After all, they all had their reasons to want to be part of the army.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I'm back!   
> Sorry for the delay it's just that these couple of weeks were quite busy.  
> I would like to say a giant THANK YOU to everyone who read this (I wasn't expecting such a good response) and also to those of you who left a kudo/comment you are good people, THAAAANK YOOUU (again)!!  
> Please note that I have added a new tag and that it might be triggering to some of you. The scene starts at 'Everything around Haru stopped moving...' and ends at 'Makoto didn’t stop his breathing exercises...'.   
> Anyways, I hope you enjoy this chapter! :D

The rest of the week passed pretty much the same way. Have a nightmare, get up, go swimming, try to not fall asleep at school, train, repeat. It was starting to wear Haru down. He hadn’t had that many nightmares in quite a while so he was feeling more tired and irritated than usual. It was perhaps because he was stressed about the choosing ‘ceremony’ for the army (even though he didn’t really have a reason to be stressed about it- his results were proof enough). 

Of course, his friends tried to help. Makoto kept shooting him with a worried frowns and trying to get him to talk. Nagisa kept on pestering him to join them in some activity or other. Rei also tried by asking him about fighting advice and other things. Rei always did that because he thought it would lift his mood if he complemented him. It sort of lost its impact after a while since he did it rather often. He appreciated it, but it didn’t really help. 

Even when you’re dead you are annoying, Rin, Haru found himself thinking sometimes, a begrudging smile finding place on his lips only to be replaced by a grimace seconds later. Not only was Rin annoying him but Haru was starting to annoy himself as well. The constant sour moods were getting on his nerves. 

When Friday came Haru was worn out and just plain tired. He was starting to slowly give up. The things haunting him in his nightmares had shifted themselves in his conscious mind as well. Get a grip of yourself, Haruka reminded himself for the millionth time this week. 

Makoto was waiting for him at the gate as usual. When Mako saw him he tried to give him a smile but it didn’t quite work. He also looked tired and the, recently constant, expression of worry was yet again present on his face. Haru felt bad for putting that burden on him.

“Hey, Haru-chan, ready for today,” he asked quietly, “I’m quite nervous myself.”

“It’s gonna be fine,” was Haru’s reply. He tried convincing himself as well but it didn’t really work. He didn’t even have the energy to correct his friend about the irritating nickname. Makoto gave him a smile, this time it was genuine and held that warmth that only Makoto possessed. It helped calm Haruka down, if only a little. 

The day passed in a series of flashbacks and attempts at calming himself down. The teachers had long given up on him and trying to get him to pay attention, so the literature teacher didn’t say anything when Haru took a small nap in her class, trying to catch up on some sleep he had lost last night. 

Thankfully, the day soon came to an end and he and Makoto headed for the front gate where they were to meet up with Nagisa and Rei. When they got there the blond boy didn’t assault them with hugs and millions of questions as usual, he just greeted them quietly and started walking. Rei mimicked the greeting and went ahead with Nagisa. Mako and Haru shared a concerned look and silently followed them. 

They must be nervous too, Hakuka thought. 

Once they got to the training centre it quickly became apparent that they weren’t the only ones feeling apprehensive about today.

“Heyo!” they heard a cheerful voice and turned around only to be met with bright pink hair and a dazzling smile. Oh, great and I thought things couldn’t get worse then he had to show up, Haru thought bitterly but refrained from showing his feelings too outwardly when he saw Makoto’s eyes light up.

“Kisumi,” Makoto walked up to the other teen and gave him a smile, “how are you?”

“Good, great,” the only indication that that was in fact not true was the way his voice seemed slightly higher than usual and the corners of his smile were starting to shake and turn down. Of course, Mako noticed that and gave him an encouraging smile in turn.

“I’m feeling a bit nervous,” Makoto said quietly as if only speaking to Kisumi. He probably was, “I’m sure we will get accepted, all of us. Don’t worry,” he then proceeded to give the pink haired boy’s shoulder a squeeze. 

“Me, nervous? Pshhh,” Kisumi laughed with a wave of his hand but it was obvious that he had significantly relaxed from the beginning of the conversation. The two boys then continued to chat between themselves and completely ignore everyone else. When 

Haru turned around he saw that Rei and Nagisa were doing exactly the same. 

I wish you were here with me too Rin, Haru thought, you would have enjoyed this, you would have enjoyed everything, actually…

An encouraging grin passed through his mind as if telling him ‘you can do this’. Thanks, Rin, Haru sent his quiet gratitude to wherever Rin was. He hoped it would help him today.  
***

Once inside the auditorium where they usually trained Haru felt some of the pressure on his shoulders ease. This was where he felt at home and soon he would get to spend even more time here if he got picked. 

The lady on the balcony (that Haru hadn’t bothered to learn the name of) informed them that practice will proceed as usual with the only difference being that the students will be closely watched by some of the generals. Haru spotted Natsuya and his partner Nao. It seemed that they had noticed him too and Natsuya gave him a discreet thumbs-up. 

As the lady had said there wasn’t much of a difference in the way the training was held and that helped Haru relax and give his all. Of course, his thoughts wandered as they usually did at times like this when his body was completely immersed in the task at hand as his mind sort of just switched off, his body relying completely on instinct. 

He thought about Rin and his family at the orphanage, he thought about the sick smile on the vampire’s face while he murdered the people dearest to him and he thought about cutting right through his neck. Haru wasn’t a particularly violent person; it wasn’t like he enjoyed breaking or killing things but when it came to vampires something in him just snaps. That is not to say that he goes berserk when around vampires, that would just be bothersome, it’s more like if the vampire is in his way- it doesn’t stand a chance. 

Slice, dodge, run, pierce, and repeat. He moved with practiced ease and every now and then he spotted one of his friends moving with the same fluidity and knew that there was no way they were not getting picked. We’ve got this; keep giving your best, guys.

After a while a loud whistle was blown and a gruff male voice called for everyone to gather around. A man with black hair stood at the balcony where the lady had been, flagged by Natsuya and Nao.

“You have all done very well,” he spoke calmly yet loudly, not that there was much need since the room was dead quiet, “we have observed you for the last couple of weeks and have looked at your scores and tests,” he paused, probably for dramatic effect, Haru thought annoyed, “and have chosen.”

He started listing names and the position they will take, together with the number of their squad. Haruka heard Kisumi’s name also Souske’s (which really agitated him), Ikuya and Asahi’s, who were fellow classmates and a girl named Aki’s (who Haru had noticed was a very determined person from the few times he had seen her) coupled with a few others. The first five formed squad number two. However, not once did Haru hear his or his friends’ names and as each second passed more and more dread spread through him. By the way Makoto’s body had tensed next to his Haru knew that he was feeling the same. Nagisa and Rei were probably feeling the same, judging by their earlier nervousness. 

“And now we move to the candidates that will be armed with a weapon from the Black Demon series,” everyone let out a small breath of surprise. It was extremely rare for someone to be considered for these types of weapons, even more so to be chosen, “I am not saying they will succeed but since it is rather apparent from their scores and skills that they may be able to control the demon we have decided to approach them with this proposal. It is up to them to take up the opportunity and we take no responsibility for their safety if they choose to do so.” 

He paused again as if letting the people let the words sink and prepare themselves for what was coming next, “As for the names, they are Ryugazaki Rei, Hazuki Nagisa, Tachibana Makoto and Hyakuya Haruka, please think about your decision before approaching me,” with those words he turned around and left the room.

What? 

That was the only thought in Haru’s mind repeating itself like a broken record. He couldn’t move his gaze from the spot where the man had stood. He could feel eyes on him, some curious, some neutral and some jealous. He was not ready for this; he was not ready for such a big responsibility. Haru was completely lost in his own head so at first he didn’t hear the cheery voice calling for him.

“Haru-chan, Haru-chaaan!” Nagisa’s shouts brought him back to the present; his view was obscured by the blonde’s face, which was split in half by a grin. His expression radiating with joy and proudness, “we got chosen! We got chosen!”

“Yes,”Haru replied still in a daze, he was not sure how to proceed from here. And as always when a difficult situation like this occurs he sought out for Mako. He turned around and found the friend in question standing next to him (as expected) with a small smile as if he had already read Haruka’s mind and was ready to talk to him. He tilted his head slightly in question to which Haru only noded.

“Please excuse us for a second,” Makoto spoke to the people gathered around and took Haru’s hand to led him out of the room.

Once outside Haruka felt himself breathe more freely. Makoto stood quietly next to him taking in long breaths, probably to calm himself down as well.

“How are you feeling?” came the expected question. 

“I don’t know,” was the answer. Truth be told there was too much going on in his mind for him to be able to decipher any of it. Flashes of confusion, happiness, elation and panic mixed together but most of all a dark and heavy emotion that he slowly interpreted as fear was taking over his body and thoughts. Not fear for himself but for his friends. 

“What do you think about the offer?” was the next question.

“I don’t know,”Haru repeated. I don’t like it, it’s wrong, I don’t like it, this is dangerous, please don’t say that you-

“I think it would be a good idea to give it a try,” Makoto said with consideration in his voice. 

-want to do this…

Everything around Haru stopped moving, Makoto’s talk slowly quieting until he couldn’t hear it, he felt his breath coming out much faster and more unsteady than before, Mako’s calls registering only faintly. Abstractedly he noted that he had sat down, nails making small crescents on his arms, which he had wrapped around his knees. 

Oh, I’m having a panic attack again, Haru thought distantly, what was it that Makoto had taught me? Breathe slowly? Maybe it was quickly? Or maybe try not to breathe? 

1,2,3…4…5…what was after 5, 8? 7?

Blood. A sad smile with so much pain. Tears. Darkness. Rin…Makoto…

Not you too!

All of his thoughts were in a mess, a disorganised mess of images, feelings and pain. 

One thought, however, stood out- I can’t lose Makoto as well, I can’t lose my family again.

“Haru, hey, Haru-“a voice was calling out for him but it was faint as if underwater or maybe he was underwater. The voice slowly became clearer once Haruka focused on it. It was Mako, who was lightly shaking him and squeezing his arm. After a moment Haru’s vision also slowly cleared and he saw the concern and fear in his friend’s eyes. The pain from his nails digging in his biceps becoming apparent, he focused on it, it helped ground him. He squeezed harder. 

“Breathe with me, okay,” Makoto said as soon as he saw that Haru was responding. He took in a deep breath and Haru copied it, he then exhaled and again Haru followed suit.

Deep breath in. And out.

In.

Out.

Inhale, exhale-

Makoto didn’t stop his breathing exercises and so Haruka didn’t as well. This went on for a while until they were both sure that Haru was okay and not freaking out. Mako spared him a quick look and all at once gathered him in his arms and something inside Haru soared (Makoto was still here) and he relaxed in Makoto’s arms. 

They stood like that for a while, Haru boneless in Makoto’s embrace and him holding on tightly, until the latter of the two spoke.

“Why’d you freak out?”

“I can’t lose you too,”Haru replied immediately, yet quietly, and Makoto’s arms tightened around him, “not you, not Nagisa, not Rei, no one. You might die or something worse might happen to you even before you meet a vampire. I don’t want that.”

“What about you?”Mako asked slowly as if apprehensive of the answer.

“I don’t have much to live for. You have your family and Nagisa and Rei have each other,” came the rehearsed answer.

“You do have something to live for,” the other countered, “Nagisa, Rei and I- your friends- will miss you, plus” he added with a smile, “you have to fulfil Rin’s dream.”

Haru sat quietly thinking about what to say. He knew his friend was right, he usually was, and started to feel selfish and guilty. He hadn’t thought about his friends, he hadn’t thought about how his decision would affect them, he had thought only about himself. How stupid.

“I’m sorry,” he said finally.

“It’s okay, just think about this next time you decide that you are not worth anything.”

Ah, Makoto always knew where the problem lay and hit it spot on. Haru let himself smile for a moment.  
***

“Mako-chan, MAKO-CHAN!!”came Nagisa’s energetic shouts, shortly followed by his and Rei’s presence. By now Haru and Makoto had opted to sitting side by side and just staring at the wall opposite them blankly, both lost in their own thoughts. 

“Hello, Nagisa, Rei,”replied Mako, having recovered quicker, and gave them a tired smile.

“They want to hear our answers now,” informed Rei, “both Nagisa and I have decided to take part,” he added, as if it was an afterthought.

“So are Haru and I,” Makoto answered for them, “you know the risks right?”

“Yes, of course-“Rei started.

“But we still wanna!”Nagisa cheerfully finished for him. Suddenly, a somber and serious expression crossed his features, “but we are not letting anyone turn into a demon or killing anyone, got it?”

“Yes,” they all answered in unison.

“Well then, I suppose we should go tell them,” Makoto said lightly and they all headed to where they were told to meet the commanders.  
***

After meeting with the commanders they were taken to the main building and then walked down a long and dark hallway, which led to the lift that would take them down to where the weapons were stored. 

“This is your last chance to turn back,” Natsuya spoke up, “no one will blame you. It’s a rather hard job.”

Haru looked around to make sure everyone was okay and not starting to have any second thoughts. Makoto was staring resolutely at the walls pass them on the way down. Rei had his fists clenched but his eyes were still determined. The only one looking slightly worried was Nagisa but not for himself. His body was turned toward Rei, his expression was one of concern when he slowly reached his hand out and lightly touched Rei’s clenched fist and then just as slowly squeezed it. The taller boy’s body seemed to relax and he gave Nagisa a sheepish smile, which the blonde returned with full force. 

No one said anything. 

When they finally reached their stop and got out of the elevator they were met with a magnificently decorated yet quite scary looking room.

Gigantic statues of different demon heads were built into the walls of the circular room. Below each statue lay a weapon placed atop a chest and in front of the weapon was diagram, which Nao informed them was a Spell Circle.

“This is where we store the highest-ranking weapons. In order for you to be able to yield the weapon you will have to enter that Spell Circle, pick up the weapon and your Contract Ceremony will start immediately. Try not to let the demon control you otherwise you will die or become a demon yourself,” Natsuya explained, “and if you do become a demon we would have no other choice but to kill you. Choose wisely.”

Everyone contemplated for a second what to choose and the first to move was Nagisa closely followed by Rei and Mako. Haru stood back and watched them go. Nagisa headed towards a set of daggers that emitted a soft yellow glow. Rei went the opposite direction picking a knife that had a purple glow. Makoto picked a simple sword with a green glow.

Haruka stood back for a while to look at all the weapons and choose one properly when his eyes landed upon a beautiful trident with blue lines that run across its hilt and the faint light coming from it instantly reminded him of the one from the pool in the morning. He knew he had found the perfect weapon for himself and determinately walked towards it. Once closer to the trident Haru noticed that little waves in three were engraved sporadically on the surface. It made him love it even more.

“Good luck everyone!”Nagisa shouted from the other side of the room when Haru took a hold of the hilt and pulled.  
***

It was too bright. That was the first thing that Haru registered and then the smell of the ocean. He slowly opened his eyes and saw the ocean stretching infinitely towards the horizon. He turned around to make better sense of where he was and was met with the view of a very similar street that he hadn’t seen since he had been a child. He was in his old town. He was home.

The happiness he had felt quickly shattered when he remembered that this was actually just a vision that the demon had created to lure him into its clutches. It had targeted his deepest and most sacred dreams and desires. Stay calm, he reminded himself, don’t let it know how you feel.

“That will be very hard,” a voice spoke up behind him and Haru felt chills run down his spine. He hadn’t heard that voice in years apart from in his dreams, “since technically I am inside your head and know everything you are thinking and feeling.”  
Haru turned around and came face to face with Rin- just like he remembered him- bright hair and eyes, and that smile of his that permanently sat on his face. All Haruka could feel was anger, not sadness, not guilt, just anger. How dare this horrible creature, this…

“Woah, rude,” the demon wearing Rin spoke up again, “and I’m ‘wearing’, as you would put it, your dearest Rin because, as you said before, I target your weakest spot. And well, as it turns out, you have quiet the soft spot for Rin here,” it said and pointed at itself grandly. 

Fuck. Now Haru wanted to control that demon even more. Its attitude was seriously annoying him.

“Now, we can’t have that, can we,” it said in a soft voice and started walking towards Haruka, who just realised that he was also in the skin of his younger self, judging by the fact that he was eye-level with Rin. The demon walked slowly and determinately, one hand outstretched as if wanting to touch him, “I’m not here to chat Haruka,”its voice dropped as it got closer, the palm of its hand coming closer and closer to his face but Haru did not budge, “I’m here to possess you,” it said in a low and determined voice. The palm of the demon’s hand had finally settled on his cheeks and Rin’s crimson eyes were staring straight at him and all Haru wanted to do was cry. 

Rin’s hand felt just like it had when they were children, his eyes were the exact same shade of red and his voice the same as it always had been, just slightly cheery no matter what, all traits that Haru had come to know and love, but it wasn’t Rin. It wasn’t the person he loved and treasured the most, it was just a filthy demon that was trying to possess him. It was using Rin and making his soft eyes hard, his voice annoying and his hand repulsing. It was just another horrible nightmare and he would never really see Rin again, never get to really talk to him, never look into those beautiful eyes. Haru wanted to give up.

A wicked smile started to stretch on the demon’s face.

But then Haru remembered Makoto’s gentle eyes, Nagisa and Rei’s smiles. Rin’s trusting expression in his last minutes and Haru came to his senses.

He would not allow this demon to possess him, he would not allow himself to watch as his friends were forced to kill him, he would not give up Rin’s and now his dream. 

 

It’s just like a nightmare, Haruka told himself, get a grip and fight back. 

“No.”

“No?” the demon spoke up in a perplexed voice and cocked its head to one side, the hand on Haru’s cheek dropping to its side.

“No, you will not control me,” Haru spoke evenly and stared at the demon with determination in his eyes and his usual dead-pan face, “I will control you.”

The demon looked confused for a second but then it started to smile, the smile widening by the second, “Oh ho ho, what do we have here? Quite a feisty one aren’t you, Haru?”

“Give me your power, I don’t like repeating myself,”Haru said evenly, not a drop of emotion in his voice.

“You know us demons don’t like happiness and love, we only feed on lust and sadness. There’s plenty of that in you and you are quite the fighter. However, those two aren’t enough we need the person to strive to something,” it looked straight at his eyes, “revenge is a quite good goal if you ask me,” the demon said, “I think your family would agree with me.”

“Onii-chan,”a faint voice spoke up from behind him and Haru whipped back, instantly recognising the voice. His younger sister was sitting in the sand cross-legged, her dark-brown hair mattered with blood, “you will kill all the vampires for us, won’t you?”

“Yeah, onii-chan, kill those vampires!” another one of his siblings spoke up, they were all sitting in the sand and looking up at him hopefully, all of them were there, just like he remembered them- sweat smiles, big round eyes and puffy cheeks. One of the smallest ones got up and ran to him, hugging him tightly, her little hands barely reaching around his waist.

“You have to kill the vampires, onii-chan, don’t let our deaths be in vain,” she said, her voice muffled by his shirt. They were all so young, Haru realised suddenly, they didn’t deserve this. He was ready to say yes to anything they asked just to make them happy but then he remembered his other friends and made his final decision. He gave his sister on last tight hug and turned around to talk with the demon. 

He left his old family behind and turned around towards his future, determined that he would keep his new family safe.

“I will say this one last time,” Haru said in a dead voice, looking at the demon and willing his mind to not think about Rin or his family, he gulped and spoke up louder, “I need your power not only to avenge my family but I also need your power so I can be stronger and protect the part of my family that is still alive. So please lend me you strength.”

“Well, well, good one there,” and with one last smile it dissolved into smoke, the scene disappearing with it.

Suddenly, Haru found himself in a completely white space, a black smoke figure with red eyes staring down at him.

“I like you, Haruka. You are worthy for me to lend my power to,” the demon said, “but first let me ask you if you are completely certain that you want to take on this strength because if I feel only the smallest of hesitations in your intention, I will kill you.”

“Yes, I am certain,”Haru replied.

“Good then, let us complete the Contract,” the smoke figure said and its smoke slowly started to subside and take a human shape. The demon that appeared before him was short with long light blue hair, red eyes and a dark blue with white motives flowy dress up to the knees that reminded Haru of sea waves. A small crown made out of what looked like blue seaweed and white thorns sat on her head.

“Now before we complete the Contract let me introduce myself. I’m Mizuo, please take care of me!” the demon laughed brightly and Haru felt really weird, “but now to the more serious stuff. Since I have decided that I like you, I will tell you some important information- you are not completely human,” the demon’s voice that was once soft and sultry (again reminding Haru of water) had now dropped to a low and dangerous murmur.

“What?” was all that Haru could choke out. Had he somehow taken some of the demon’s power into himself while he was hesitating, had the vampires infected him with something and now he had vampire blood in him? What? Why?

“I don’t know what it is, it is definitely not of demonic nature,” Mizuo said and Haru allowed himself a moment of relief. “Have the humans been experimenting on you? You know Haru, you should never trust anyone, especially humans- they are the most cunning of all.” And with that it dropped its serious façade and went back to smiling cheerily.

“Okay, now, let’s see” Mizuo said happily and stretched its hand, “Nanase Haruka I lend you my strength and power, use it wisely to achieve your goal. You can go back now,” it finished with a sweat smile. And just as quickly as he had entered the vision he left it.  
***

When Haruka opened his eyes he was laying on the floor staring up at the ceiling, the trident held in a tight grip in his palm, the energy running through it reminding him that he now controlled a demon. Haru also realised that a single tear was sliding down his cheek. It must be because of what had happened during the Contract Ceremony.

A loud shout brought him back from his thoughts and he turned the upper part of his body around to see both Makoto and Nagisa sitting across the room from him with their weapons loosely held in their hands. Makoto was already standing and Nagisa was following him, they were both heading straight towards him. When they reached him, Mako held out a hand to help him up but Haru momentarily flinched remembering the demon in his vision but quickly recovered reminding himself that it was just his friend who wanted to help him. He accepted the hand.

“How did it go?”Nagisa asked enthusiastically but there was a tension in his sholders that didn’t go unnoticed by Haru.

“Fine, I guess,” he answered and looked around in search for Rei, who he found still lying in the Spell Circle, sweat running down his forehead, “Rei?”

“He’s still not finished with his Contract,”Mako spoke up, turning around to look at their friend.

“He will be up in no time, just give him a few minutes,”Nasgisa said in a reassuring manner but Haruka got the feeling that he was talking more to himself then to the rest of them.

After a couple of seconds they all sat down on the floor and patiently waited for Rei to wake up. Haruka noticed that Natsuya and Nao had started talking in heated whispers after a while as if in an argument but trying to conceal it from them. It was probably about Rei and what they should do about him since he had been out of it for quite a while.

“The risk of Rei turning into a demon right now is very high so I think we should all get ready for an attack,”Natsuya spoke up and Nagisa’s eyes became impossibly large with fear and sadness.

“Please, give him one more minute,” he said desperately, “I know he can do it. He promised he would…” 

“It’s okay Nagisa, he will be fine,” Makoto said in a soft and reassuring manner and put an arm around his shoulders but tightened the grip he had on his sword with the other. Haru held his trident loosely; he really didn’t want to fight one of his friends. 

One of his family members. 

Suddenly, a loud pained gasp came from Rei and he opened his eyes, the hand that was holding his knife was trembling but still held on tightly to the weapon. Nao cautiously walked up to him and when he saw that he showed no demonic signs, let out a relieved breath. That was Nagisa’s cue to run straight to Rei and bring him into what seemed like a painfully tight hug. 

Makoto and Haru made their way over in a much calmer fashion but once they reached them, Mako dropped down and held both Nagisa and Rei in a hug that could rival only Nagisa’s death grip on Rei. Haru smiled slightly down at his new family, he still missed Rin and the rest but what he saw in the demon’s vision had given him an odd sense of closure. He also dropped to his knees and held his friends tightly and pretended to not hear the loud sniffles coming from Nagisa.

“Water,” Rei croaked from between them, “I need some water,” and only now did Haru noticed that he was violently shaking.

“Rei, you okay?” Nagisa asked quietly, “hey, Rei,” he repeated after not getting an answer and Haru realised that Rei had gone limp in Nagisas’s arms.

“Natsuya-san, we need to take him to the hospital,”Haru raised his voice and turned in the direction of the commander, “Now!” he added urgently, a silent plea in his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time on this angst fest: some free time and an unexpected meeting
> 
> I decided to not use Yuu's demon and also changed Haru's name cause well...he doesn't have parents and he was at the same orphanage as in ons.   
> Also the ceremony was different bc Yuu and the rest got in pretty unconventionally.   
> Feel free (ha) to leave a comment, I'm always open for discussion and/or ideas or come scream at me on tumblr: http://sunshine-and-blueberries.tumblr.com/

**Author's Note:**

> Next time on this angst fest: more nightmares, a demon and too many emotions  
> Come scream at me, if you want, on tumblr: sunshine-and-blueberries.tumblr.com  
> The next chapter shoul be up in a about two weeks because i like to procrastinate~


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